Okay, people. There’s such a thing called ‘common sense’. If you don’t know what that is, you lack it, so go Wiki it. They’re things people are generally expected to know about in conversations of any type, be it professional or personal.

Some things I just don’t know. Some things I know I know but can’t recall it when I need to. Some things I should know, but don’t. That’s what I’m targeting here with a big long list of my common sense downfalls. Seeing as I’ve now posted it here, you can’t just assume I know these facts.

• I don’t remember road names. Sure, I can tell you the way to Tesco by telling you to take the third exit off of that first roundabout, carry on, make a right then over the bridge, but I can’t tell you what the roads (or even landmarks) are called. I can describe them for you, if you like, but "that curvy one with the trees" isn’t all that descriptive.
• I don’t know the dates of the wars. First World, Second World, Falklands… no. I don’t know them. I know it forms part of my essay on the Cultural Circuit, so it’s a bit hypocritical, but me being a young person I don’t see the point in burning these dates in my head. They happened, sure. But they didn’t happen in my lifetime. All I know is that we were pretty important in them all, and that Hitler was a bad person. Can you see why I didn’t do History GCSE?
• I don’t know how the political system works. Far right? Far left? Those are sides to me. I’m the sort of person who would vote for David Cameron because I liked his T-shirt. Thankfully, I know the BNP are bad news, but that’s about it. In my mindset, I’m more likely to vote for the Monster Raving Looney Party next time I can vote simply because of the name. I know I’ve been told again and again their definitions, but nope. In one ear and out the other. Communism, dictatorship, socialism…? I’ve got nothing.
• I won’t remember your name. Even if you just said it, it’s gone. You are the person I’m talking to right now, and that’s the important thing. I’m sure you’d be more insulted if I carried on your conversation with another person than you would be if I just called you ‘you’. (And while we’re there, I don’t know how you spell your name, so when I ask how many L’s Michelle has for example, don’t look at me gone out)
• I don’t know what settings I need to put the washing machine on to make sure my clothes don’t get ruined. I live by the hard and fast rule that 40c is good for me. It’s easy to remember and it rhymes. Little bit of fabric softener and a washer tablet or two and you’re sorted. I don’t have the patience to know that this stuff’s dark so it goes in its own wash, or it can be done at a lower temperature to "save the world". Blah blah blah. World shmuld. Another contradiction on myself here, but life’s too short to faff around with that.
• I don’t know how to parallel park. Okay, it’s maybe not common sense, but seeing as I’ve been taught it, I should know. I’d be able to do it if I had about 5 minutes to mess it up a couple of times, but Johnny Arseface sounding his horn behind me isn’t going to care. I’ll just drive in to the space and if I can’t, I’ll find a different one. Not my problem, and you’re not driving, are you?
• I have no idea what ‘interdisciplinarity’ means. Well, that’s more within my subject, but I constantly find myself trying to remind myself what these words mean. I know, I chuck them around in an essay, but in all honesty, I don’t know what Foucault’s view of semiotics is, even though you’ve told me a million times already.
• I don’t know how to mix drinks. You know what I mean, the whole so much spirit and so much mixer. If you ask me to go make you a vodka Red Bull, I’d hazard a guess, but in relation to your glass, I have no idea how much I put in to what. Just take it how I give it to you and don’t complain, else you’ll do it yourself next time.

Well now you know. I’m not keeping them secret, I’m telling you now. I’m sure there are plenty more things I don’t know but thanks to their nature, I don’t know I don’t know them. Many thanks!

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Tags: John, Mac, May, News