Okay, it wasn’t that great, but the title was too good to not use.
Alistair Darling – seen here just before he goes on a short break with a very small suitcase (Has he never heard of Argos?) – gave us Brits a taste of what’s to come in his budget report. I know, it sounds dull, but you haven’t heard from me since Friday, so you might as well carry on reading.
Today’s also known as “Piss as many people off with all the wrong decisions Day”, it seems. While I’ve seen more exciting reports (Believe me, they exist if you look hard enough and/or drink a litre of vodka beforehand), it seems to just do nothing for anyone. Well, I suppose he’s learned from the top bloke in that field…
3p fuel duty rise to be phased in between April and January 2011
Last time I checked (back when they were moaning about gey-ass prices over there in their stereotypical American accents) American fuel prices are about half as much as we pay. Yet, it’s still dripping in taxes and is about to be soaked in once more, just as some places top £1.20 per litre of fuel. Ouchies.
I suppose it’s a good kind of backhand way of getting us to use public transport/walk/bike/hovercraft to work and school, but sometimes that just isn’t possible because you can’t afford it. So this kind of thing really won’t please anyone. Except perhaps the bus drivers, but then again they need all the cheering up they can get.
Cider duty to rise 10%, wine beer and spirits rise 2% as of Sunday
What are you going to be doing Saturday night? Setting your clocks back? Getting the beef ready for tomorrow’s roast? I’m sure there’ll be someone down the pub necking as many pints as possible before it gets slightly more expensive. Well, any excuse.
Yep, in news that’s bound to (and if Twitter’s anything to go by, already has) annoy students nationwide, cider duty of all things is going up 10%. Expensive stuff. Is that Darling’s backhand way of trying to get the chavs to stop drinking Strongbow in the park at night? He should really just confront them with his big red briefcase. That’ll show them…
Six-month work or training guarantee for under 24s
Now here’s something that’s pretty Backing Young Britain-y. If you’re under 24, you won’t be out of work or not gaining experience for longer than six months, which always sounds pretty good. I’m just kind of wondering how to go about that.
I mean, if it was simple enough, why wasn’t it done before? Give those chavs something else to do than bother Darling in the park. Perhaps they could get their McGCSEs. Flippin’ great.
Eyebrow dye duty down 20% as of Sunday
…okay, I made that one up.
There’s the key points from the key points page on the BBC website. I essentially summed up anything relevant to me, so go have a gander if your worried about your £1 million house.
But another thing the BBC picked up on is how this is an apparent social media budget and how they’re using crowd sourcing and Wordle of all things. Wow. Interactive Media Production has never felt so square…
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