Look, I know I was sceptical about our chances last year and we came 5th, but even you’ve got to admit that this song has less charm than an unpaid employee in Bridgend handing out nooses.

It’s cheese-time, Eurovision fans! Yep, it’s that time (not My Time) of year again. Dear god it comes fast, doesn’t it.

The BBC ran its seemingly mandatory reality TV-style show in order for us, the UK, to pick our potential winner. To be fair, that potential is on par with that of Michael Jackson’s comeback tour, but who cares about that when Graham Norton’s presenting it…!

Out of the six talentless pits, the judges whittled it down to three. The three judges all being high in the music industry right now – Pete Waterman, Jade Ewan off of last year’s Eurovision and that bloke from Strictly Come Dancing. All perfectly adequate judges, mind, for the talent that was on offer.

Then we ponied up our pounds as a nation to vote this guy – who has a look of Andrew Pashler about him – for Eurovision 2010. Josh Dubovie from Basildon’s going to be singing a quote-unquote “lovely” song made by Pete Waterman, godfather of that song you all love. You can listen to it in that video up top… IF YOU DARE.

So what are we up against? Well, hosts Norway are going with a ballad titled My Heart Is Yours which is still tipped to win despite not exactly being my cup of tea.

Second best, despite coming 7th last year, is Greece with OPA, which has a more toe-tapping beat to it. I’d hope this one wins over Norway, to be perfectly honest.

The Irish are tipped to do better than us this year, after usually disappointing efforts from the likes of Dustin the Turkey (which I thought was amazing, just for reference). Their song is another slow one titled It’s For You which certainly is 5th place material. I mean look at us last year.

We’re pencilled in for 16th at the moment, which I suppose is fair play. I don’t see many funny songs in this year’s competition, which are by far my favourites. Going by that logic, looks like I’m rooting for Netherlands.

So, blogosphere, who are you going to vote for? Would you vote for us?

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