It’s probably not a good idea to open something addressed to "Suicide Bomber" that’s been posted in your letterbox, but thankfully this man did so we can all laugh at him.
His name? Andrew Adams – a 63-year old retired taxi driver from Swansea. One day the postman delivered his letters as usual, but with an unexpected addition. Boots had given him an advantage card under the name ‘Dr A Suicide Bomber’.
Now, I just find it wonderful that the first thing this guy thought was "Well, I’m not a doctor…" before contemplating the fact Boots were trying to get suicide bombers to collect loyalty points. He is indeed more inquisitive why Boots sent him a reward card not under this rather humorous name, but because he rarely shops there.
I just think this story’s great in with a mix of Chile miners being stuck in caves or cats being stuck in bins – it’s not to be taken too seriously. Which is exactly why I’m about to take the piss.
Firstly, I’ve never been a postman, but I’m pretty sure at some point you have to look at the letters you’re posting through. If you do the same round a few times you know who lives where roughly. Even if you don’t, surely you don’t think "Huh, so Mr Adams is a suicide bomber now – that and he’s saving points to buy his missus something nice no doubt – go figure" and just post it through. It’s probably against the law to withhold someone’s post (even if it is addressed to A Suicide Bomber) but maybe it’s worth a knock on the door or… a chat to your local PCSO or something I don’t know.
But then we’ve got the whole idea of it getting to that point in the first place. There must have been some bloke who’s gotten a kick from finding out that Boots actually sent A Suicide Bomber a loyalty card after being bored one day. Boots said they have systems in place to stop that sort of thing happening, but still it got through. To be fair it’s probably a Boots employee just handing in his notice in a rather fancy and humorous way, who knows.
It’s a bit far to go and say "anyone with a weak heart of nervous disposition probably will get really scared by it" because nobody can be scared of anything sent to such a blatant recipient, especially a Boots loyalty card. It sounds a bit reminiscent of Fringe Fail Lady and their sort of "I shouldn’t have to look after myself, should I?!" ideology. If you’re like that, don’t do anything at all, or don’t expect £7000 for falling over or something.
Anyway. I digree. Mr Suicide Bomber – if you actually do exist – you know who’s got your Advantage Card. May I suggest avoiding the nail varnish though, they’ll probably take that off you at airport security anyway.
No Comments on "Dr A Suicide Bomber"